You know, everyone I know always asks, "so... are you going to get a job? What are you going to do with this next year of your life?" My response is simple yet complex: I don't know. I had my life planned and figured out last year. I thought that this year I would take the NCLEX and get a job as an RN close to school. Well, my thoughts on that changed as soon as I walked across the stage at graduation. My life was literally torn apart, not by any traumatic event, but by the pure revelation that I don't know who I am anymore or what I want to do. Do I want to sacrifice this time I have left in college to go earn money? What is the point even of having a job besides gaining experience and gaining money? These are questions that I should have left in the philosophy department right? Wrong! These questions are what allow us to interact with what is around us. They give us an understanding of our place in this world. Without questioning we would be mindless robots who only make money and have sex.
What were my options:
1. No job, no school = drop out and travel
2. No job, school = time with friends and self exploration
3. Job, school = little to no social life (basically a repeat of the last 2 years of my life)
4. Job, drop out of school = money to pay loans
Immediately, I scratched off #1, #4 because well.... those are horrible choices. #1 sounds good... but to travel I need money and for money I need a job. A job inhibits travel so thats a no go.
A friend asked me the other day: "Katie, What are you looking forward to this semester?" My initial response was about how much time I'll have since I'm not in nursing school anymore. But, that got me thinking... my plan was to get a job... job takes up time... therefore I will have no time... How do I get time? No job simple as that.... FALSE! Its not that easy when you have friends, family, and a grandma asking you 24/7 "Have you found a job? Where are you going with your life?" They won't accept the answer of I don't know because I always have known... well, up to this point.
There are a lot of other factors that lead into my confusion: a discontent for the college I attend, my lack of finding a job, my interest in going up to summer camp, and this feeling of I don't know who I am anymore.
This is my goal this semester (and through a series of blog posts): To resolve these factors and rediscover who I am and what I want to do.
What were my options:
1. No job, no school = drop out and travel
2. No job, school = time with friends and self exploration
3. Job, school = little to no social life (basically a repeat of the last 2 years of my life)
4. Job, drop out of school = money to pay loans
Immediately, I scratched off #1, #4 because well.... those are horrible choices. #1 sounds good... but to travel I need money and for money I need a job. A job inhibits travel so thats a no go.
A friend asked me the other day: "Katie, What are you looking forward to this semester?" My initial response was about how much time I'll have since I'm not in nursing school anymore. But, that got me thinking... my plan was to get a job... job takes up time... therefore I will have no time... How do I get time? No job simple as that.... FALSE! Its not that easy when you have friends, family, and a grandma asking you 24/7 "Have you found a job? Where are you going with your life?" They won't accept the answer of I don't know because I always have known... well, up to this point.
There are a lot of other factors that lead into my confusion: a discontent for the college I attend, my lack of finding a job, my interest in going up to summer camp, and this feeling of I don't know who I am anymore.
This is my goal this semester (and through a series of blog posts): To resolve these factors and rediscover who I am and what I want to do.